No one is perfect.. especially me.
I mess up every single day.. multiple times. Sometimes I’ll think something or act in a certain way and say woah.. what the heck is wrong with you?!
We are human and have a fallen nature. But no matter HOW many times we mess up, God gives us grace.. so why can’t we train our minds to give one another grace, forgive, heal, bounce back and move on? Life is too short to hold onto anger, bitterness, live in the past or hold onto resentment.
Forgiveness is a choice. We must CHOOSE to forgive someone even if they intentionally hurt us. People will disappoint us. It's going to happen. If we don't forgive, we only hurt ourselves, fueling our own poison and THAT is what can lead to detrimental things.. harming ourselves, the people we love, potentially even causing longterm physical illness in our bodies. The resentment only grows as we circle and justify why and how this person could have done such a thing. Then, we may turn to a few too many glasses of wine (both hands up here) or drugs, or hurting our loved ones out of our own hurt.. which leads to physical and emotional disease.. potentially even cancer.
I have never regretted forgiving someone.. just regretted not forgiving sooner. I feel better.. relieved when I do. It reduces my stress, heals my heart and keeps my momentum going! It doesn’t mean you have to be best friends.. by any means. In fact, healthy boundaries are needed sometimes.
We hold people to this unrealistic bar and make assumptions then just keep circling and justify why they are the worst person in the world.. but how could they? I get it. Forgiving is not always easy.. sometimes it’s HARD. When we forgive, it does not mean there’s no consequence to their action, or that it was right, or that you don’t need healthy boundaries. It’s letting go and letting God.. moving on with a sound mind, realizing we do not have control over everyones heart, words or actions.
Can we take it a step further? What if we not only chose to forgive someone but even pray for them? That person that intentionally hurt me actually has a gift and purpose as important and equal to mine. My friend Sarah brought that up over coffee one time and it hit me hard. We were sitting at a cafe catching up and I explained a situation I was dealing with at work.
No matter how nice I was to.. let's name this person Sally. Sally kept talking behind my back and spreading lies through the news room about me and my family. The fact my family was brought into it, put me into protective mama bear mode.Why would she gossip? I'm so nice to her, uplift her and cheer her on every single day. What's her problem? I initially held onto to bitterness but I had a choice to make. I will either keeping circling why Sally is so rude and the worst person in the world, OR as Sarah brought to light over coffee.. Sally is struggling inside and there's no way an emotionally whole person would act this way.
Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people. A healed whole person has never tore me down. So, not only can I choose to forgive her but now I can actually weep for her and pray that God will touch and heal her.
IT FELT SO MUCH BETTER!
To listen to my podcast episode on forgiveness, click the link below!
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Sending sunshine rays your way,
Daphne 'your Life-Purpose Coach' DeLoren :)